Forevermore
by blueroseulan
Summary: A collection of songs that show how Kenshin and Kaoru meets their biggest insecurities about their love for one another... and how they faced them all


Fanfic by Blue roseulan

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DISCLAIMER'S: I DON'T OWN RUROUNI KENSHIN OR THE SONGS I HAVE USED… I'M JUST MERELY BORROWING… I REPEAT; I DON'T OWN THESE SONGS! PLEASE DON'T GO AND SUE ME!

AN: Hi there… this one's a medley… a sweet one at that. Some sons have tagalong lyrics but not to worry… I've put English translations every after stanza…so what else… ah… PLEASE REVIEW!

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The noisy cries of merchants and businessmen shouting their wares resounded all over the awakening busy town of Tokyo as rays of sunlight shafted to the residents of Japan. Birds were chirping and the peaceful era the Meiji government has desperately tried to uproot seem to finally found its way to Japan.

The morning would have been uneventful, quiet and sleepy still, had not a certain female kendo instructor irately eyed at a red haired man happily washing the dirty laundry he had so called blessings and happiness. She gripped the broom she had been holding forcefully, quite forgetting that her real task was to sweep the dust of the porch and not to burn holes behind the back of the swordsman. He seemed to be oblivious though, dancing in complete euphoria with bubbles and soapsuds.

_MOU! How come he **still** doesn't know! Is he **that** dense! MOU! I know men are dense and shy about their feelings but I didn't expect him to be that a complete idiot! KENSHIN NO BAKA! How come you could still do your silly washing, cook delicious mochis, clean my dojo immaculately, wash my kimonos, keep my house in pristine order and **YOU STILL HAVENT NOTICED!** **KENSHIN NO BAKA!**_

Apparently, the dojo instructor had been seething well enough and the silly whistling sound he had been creating did not help slow down her thoughts, instead it only seemed to fuel. Her morning rage more, his whistles grating in her nerves like steel iron bars.

"_**MOU KENSHIN! **Its been how long! OH FOR KAMI-SAMA'S SAKE! Don't you still know that I am more enough than a friend? It's been_ _three years! THREE years! Even after I met you." She sighed. Her thoughts suddenly turning dark and her anger blooming to silent sorrow. _

_I've known you for so long you are a friend of mine…_

_But baby, is this all we'd ever be…_

_I've loved you all my life you are a friend of mine_

_But baby is this all we'd ever could be…_

_And tell me things I'll never know_

_I'll show you love you've never shown_

"_I don't understand, your actions defy what you show or say. You're confusing me. You always refer to me as a friend, as family, always in general, yet never alone. You can't even call me Kaoru. Always Kaoru-dono, Kaoru-dono here, Kaoru-dono there. How can I tell you? How can I tell you that… I hate being your friend! I hate it! I don't want to be your friend… I want to be something more…" _she whispered her voice filled with yearning and amicable sorrow._ "I want you to share with me your past, your sorrows… everything… And I will tell you mine… You are A burdened soul… for you never speak about your past… Tell me… I don't know if I can help but I'll promise I'll try…" _Bowing her head and leaning it at the handle of her broom, she never left her gaze to the man, endless words reeling unmindful in her head.

_And then again when you cry, I'm always by your side_

_You tell me bout the love you've had_

_And I listen very eagerly_

_But deep inside you'll never see this feeling of emptiness_

_That makes me feel sad_

_But then again… then again… I'm glad…_

The whole day proved to be uneventful. They had no more challengers of Battousai waiting outside the dojo gate wanting to have revenge, chief Uramura had not yet dropped for a visit, No half crazed maniacs wanting to take over the world run loose around Japan, everyone was safe, the dojo was earning, Yahiko had for once stopped being bratty and of course, Kenshin was still in the dojo, with them, with her. It gave Kaoru all the reason to smile, to be happy and even forget her early morning tantrums. Before retiring to bed, she had offered to help him with the dishes and he had willingly obliged, making her heart flutter with the grateful smile he gave her. It made her blush to think that their hands had touched numerous times making her ask herself if he had really intended it. Of course, negation coursed through her senses, but still, it made her feel good to think of silly things that are impossible. After having a long hot bath (Prepared of course by him) she walked inside her room in a dreamy state, a warm feeling spreading at the pit of her stomach. A dopey smile made its way to her lips as she picked up the comb that rested on her drawer. Brushing her hair as she gazed at herself in front of the mirror, she thought about a certain man resting in a room beside hers, wondering if he ever though of her as frequently as she did to him.

_Cause you're everywhere to me_

_And when I close my eyes it's you I see_

_You're everything I know that makes me believe I'm not alone._

_Cause you're everywhere to me_

_And when I catch my breath,_

_It's you I breathe_

_You're everything I know that makes me believe_

_I'm not alone._

Lying at her rolled futon with her smile never leaving her face, she gazed at her wooden ceiling, its vision changed to the image of a red haired swordsman, a cross-marked scar on his left cheek and beautiful amethyst eyes. She smiled, and then let out a giggle, enjoying the moment though a bit embarrassed to be acting like a mad blushing schoolgirl. A tinkle of laughter escaped at her throat as she curled herself, imagining that it was he who was holding her. Ah, the silly little things that we do when we are in love. Everything seems to be in such perfect moments, a screen capture, your days are happier, your smiles more cheerful, your mood easily uplifted and the weird quirks you had once in a while. Kaoru was a funny person, but her will to work and strive for her family was a tad too serious that she often found herself having less time to enjoy her day, to be _herself, _to be carefree and to be happy. Of course she was with Yahiko, Sano and Kenshin but she missed the humorous moments she had with herself. That was why, these incidents in her room was generally speaking... Ahem _called for._ Yet again she found herself smiling. It was weird how her day started to be dreary, Her thoughts filled with anger, angst and pain, to end with smiles and silly giggles in her room that night. She wondered why he had that effect on her. How he could turn her thoughts more than a 360 angle or swing her moods so easily. Well, maybe that was what love really does to a person and Kaoru was by no means an exception from it. Of course Kaoru wished nothing more than to make him feel the same way, to make him smile because of her, to make his day just like he made hers, these were the things Kaoru knew was impossible, not to exist, thought she prayed hard to the gods every night to make him notice her. She hoped that come a time, he can finally get over with Tomoe, that they can start again, after all, Koru was sure of her feelings, it was not a mere infatuation or a crush. With all the things they had done so far together, she knew her soul would forever be at his side, never to leave him. She knew her love was rooted by the stench of blood and strengthened by her tears, and if you had been with a man who constantly fought with death, you would understand how Kaoru felt. The fear of losing the man she loved most made firmer her resolve to support him with all of her life.

Of course she should have known that her happiness would not last long. Of course she should have known that a day that had started with clouded thoughts and unhappiness would end with the same emotions. Of course she should have known that it was not rightful for her to dream and to wish he would love her and hold her. Of course she should have known Tomoe would be irreplaceable in the assassin's heart. She should have figured those things ages ago, she should have known. But no, silly little Kaoru had to wait for that night to burst her happy floating bubble.

It started when she felt him tossing and turning in his room. Sleeping in a futon, made it easier for someone to detect the movements of the person resting in the other room and Kaoru woke up, her face clearly etched with worry as she immediately stood up and walked softly towards his room.

The man was a sight to see, it was one of those times when Kaoru caught a glimpse of the burden the Hitokiri carried along with his sins. It sent a pang of love and compassion to the woman's heart as she stood in his doorway. Making her way towards the swordsman and kneeling at his side, she tried to shake him, to wake him up in an attempt to break whatever nightmare he was having. Her actions seemed futile though for he did not wake and supposed to struggle more against her touch incoherent murmurs forming to audible words.

"_Tomoe…. Tomoe! Matte! Matte! Tomoe! Where are you koi! I can't see you1 Tomoe… please… don't leave…. I … I need you…. Tomoe…"_

She suddenly pulled away, as if a searing pain burned at her touch. She gasped as she tried to choke back tears. He was mirroring the same ardor, the same love she bore for him, but it was for someone else, another who had deeply caught his heart. And it hurt; for she wished that his wife would be erased along with the lingering traces of his past. Tears blurred her vision as she tried to stand up and leave the room. She was halfway towards the shoji, when she stopped, something inside of her making her retrace back her steps and she knew, no matter how her hurt her, no matter how many times he pushed her away, she knew she would never let him live in the dark abyss of the shadows of his haunting past. It hurts, yes, very for her feelings were not mutual, but just like tonight, she could never bear neither the thought, nor the guilt of leaving him behind and watching him suffer.

With slight difficulty, she sat at the edge of the futon, pulling his struggling form closer to her bosom, while her free hand ran to stroke his face and removed the matted hair that lay pasted on his cheeks. His struggles finally died down, his shouts quieting to shushed moans of his wife's name. She winced, both physically and emotionally. Physically for his arms were struggling at her chest, and emotionally for she knew he would never love another. Tears silently bade its way to her cheeks as she tried to whisper words of comfort to the man's ear. Her voice coming out as strained and strangled. She touched him and murmured to him, telling him that she was right there… or rather _Tomoe _was right there. When she whispered her name, this pacified him and at last, he calmed, a slight smile forming at his lips as he dreamt that Tomoe was there, touching his face, loving and forgiving him. He never awakened, never knew, never felt the difference that the one who had offered him comfort was not his wife but the woman who had vowed to love him until the end of time. She watched his as he finally fell into a peaceful deep slumber, his smile never leaving until she gently released him and quietly exited the room.

_Jealous of the one whose arms are around you…_

_If she's keeping you satisfied…_

_Jealous of the one who finally found you_

_May your stars and your sun collide_

_She's a very very lucky girl…_

Kaoru never dared break down in front of the sleeping man or at the corridor, lest she woke up the inhabitants of her dojo. It was only in the darkness and loneliness of her own room did she let herself cry; to sob and release the emotions she had desperately tried to control. It dealt her a blow that left her sprawled and collapsed in the ground in surrender. It was funny how human emotions changed so easily. It was only a while ago when she was fantasizing and dreaming of him loving her back, of holding her in his arms when now, now after having seen him in such a desolate state without his wife, here she was once again in the room, crying and hurting with a sting she never knew if it would heal. It was so painful watching the man you loved suffer the most. Kaoru wished to be the one he holds dearly into his heart but if bringing Tomoe back to life would make him happy; then she would gladly change places with her. Sacrifice her happiness for the sake of his. That was how Kaoru loved, unrelenting, unwavering and giving everything, not leaving anything for herself. That was why it was twice the blow, twice the pain. She knew ever since the beginning, she had no right to ask such a man, such a love, foe she was and will never be deserving of a person like him. Compared to his wife, she was nothing to his eyes. Tomoe was refined, elegant, and beautiful and she could cook. _While here I am tomboy ugly Kaoru, sweaty, brash and just a girl who always got in trouble. You're a mess kaoru!_ She wept bitterly. She felt envious, yes, to Tomoe, for having caught the heart of the Hitokiri but she never hated the woman, instead, she hated herself, for being so much unlike Tomoe, for not becoming the woman, Battousai would ever love the most.

_And you know I'd have a good find_

_If you thought she changed your mind_

_But if she makes you happy,_

_Then I'll leave the dream behind…_

_But she better treat you right.._

_And give you everything…_

_Cause the moment that she doesn't,_

_I'll be waiting in my wings…_

A week after the incident at Kenshin's room, Kaoru had slowly begun to withdraw herself from everyone, keeping silent during dinners, getting more serious with her training… At first, nobody seemed to notice it, just thinking it was one of those 'time' of the month again where women where PMS-ing… But after two weeks or so, the change in Kaoru's attitude increased and even Sanosuke was getting curious, if not a bit scared by Kaoru's sudden drawl from the people.

"Oi Kenshin," he said one day approaching the older man uneasily. "What's happenin' to Jou-chan? She' s not her usual self these past few weeks. Yah better talk to Kaoru Kenshin buddy." His words may seem gibberish, but the swordsman could see the concern and confusion in the zanza's eyes. Nodding, he quietly got up from his laundry and walked to the dojo where Kaoru had her early morning meditations.

Though her posture was straight and her breathing even, her face had a troubled look and he detected a depressed and hurting aura radiating from the woman. Sitting himself gently beside her as not to startle the woman, his question caught her off guard as his silent voice resounded in the dojo.

"Kaoru-dono… sessha wants to speak with you…"

She looked surprised. But nevertheless nodded, indicating him to go on.

"Sessha is concerned…. Because Kaoru-dono hasn't been acting herself lately."

He studied her as her face transitioned from amazement, unhappiness, and what's this? Defense and impassiveness?

"I'm completely fine Kenshin… nothing to worry about Me. " she said, trying to keep her face blank and not showing him any emotions. It would be better this way. With him not knowing a thing about his dream. It would be better if she acted as if it was nothing. Yes. It will be.

"Kaoru-dono…" he started.

"I'm **_fine._**" She snapped, startling him. Rising to her feet, she murmured, not raising to meet his eyes," Go-gomenasai Kenshin… I didn't mean to snap on you… It's just…never mind…" she waved her hand dismissively.

"Sessha **_does_** mind." he whispered catching her hand holding it tightly.

_Really now?_ Her mind seemed to sneer. But instead of voicing out her thoughts, she gave him a weak forced smile. "Never mind me Kenshin… this is nothing… besides…" she added, " I should go now, the marketing should be done. Finish the laundry by then." And in a snap she was gone from his sight, trying to escape the searing amethyst gaze he gave her.

After the marketing was done, Kaoru just didn't feel like going back to the dojo just then. She didn't want to go home yet, didn't want to pretend to be numb of emotions. She didn't want to face him yet again, and the questions, she was sure that would make her carefully constructed dam to break apart. Instead, she turned at the opposite side of town; towards a hidden hill she had long discovered and plopped herself, spread eagled to the sweet cool grass, the big sakura tree providing her shade. At once, she let her emotions break the hell loose inside her. She suddenly felt her eyes tear up, and suddenly she was sobbing, crying pouring out her emotions. Not caring that she was outside the whole world to see. After all, she knew she was the only living soul who knew the hill. It had become her refuge all the time and she was never ashamed to show her emotions. It was just with times like these when she'd have to pretend to be strong, that an adjutant master of the Kamiya-kasshin was never allowed to feel frightened or scared. When things became too much for her bearing, she would always climb in the hill and recover herself, letting her fears and tears fall. This time though, Kaoru wasn't scared. Instead, she was hurt. Deep inside, she felt jealousy, self-directed anger and yearning crashing in her heart. Sobbing, she stood up, and towards the whole woods to hear, she shouted, her voice choked and pitiful

"_Kenshin… I LOVE YOU! But you won't love me back!_

_I want you near… beside me… but… I know you'll never will…_

_Tomoe-san is irreplaceable in your heart…_

_I thought after she died, you had buried her along with your past!_

_HOW WRONG OF ME TO EVER THINK OF THAT!_

_She will always be in your heart… and no one can replace her… not even me…_

_Not even me…_

Her words seemed to die down as she collapsed to the ground in a heap as her sobs racked her body. She wept, her cries mingling with the bitterness of her tears. She didn't mind as thunder rolled, a distant reminder of a coming storm, the woman made no move to stand up and head for home. No, flinching slightly only when the first raindrop hit her cheek, she laid on the grass, lips moving, tears running paths on her face and the rain wetting her face and her kimono. She seemed to have forgotten everything. The things she bought, the rain, her kimono. All except for the pain and burden she carried deep in her heart.

I only wanted to love and be loved back… 

_Yet the irony of things… the person I had given my heart, has given his heart to someone else…_

_I want to love him… to stand beside him in all his fights… all his life…_

_But I can't…_

_He has someone else…_

_Tomoe-san…_

I just want to understand… You had somebody else 

_Cause these feelings I keep to myself_

_I may never get to hold you so tight_

_I may never get to kiss you goodnight…_

_I may never get to look deep in your eyes,_

_Or so it seems…_

I'll always will be wishing you were mine 

_I think about what could be all the time…_

_All the happiness that I could find…_

_Baby a girl can dream…_

_**KENSHIN**_

The sudden storm left the busy crowded streets of Tokyo deserted and empty, save one, wearing a magenta gi and holding an umbrella at the far end of a fork path. His brows were knitted with worry and his features anxious. She has not returned yet and from past experiences, a simple trip to the market could mean several days of finding and locating her at far ends of Japan with her kidnapper. Though this time, Kenshin hoped not, there was no telling what might happen to her. That was why he always insisted to accompany her, to go with her even in just places like these, the market the police station… his fear always got the best of him.

Finally, a forlorn image seems to emerge from the left end of the path and Kenshin gave a sigh of relief as he anxiously ran towards the drenched figure. Once he saw her face, it was a completely different thing. Her eyes were red and bloody and he could she had been crying. She was so wet she was shivering and although she tried to give him a weak smile, he could still feel the unhappiness and pain her ki radiated.

Over the years, Kenshin had learned to live with this woman. Expecting her presence, wanting her safe, warmed by her actions and touched by her words. He could never begin to comprehend how he would have survived his years after the Bakumatsu had she not been thrown in the whirl and chaos his life brought about. If given a chance, he would still ask the gods to have her challenge him at the busy streets of Tokyo that fateful summer day, just so he would have the chance to be with her once again. It was a selfish request. Indeed. And Kenshin knew it for he never and will never deserve a woman like Kaoru but still…

He wondered, how she could instill happiness and vibrancy back into his life with just a mere smile, how his heart seemed to flutter every time he caught her looking at him, how could have she stood by his side amidst dangers and pains he brought… Truly, she possessed a spirit and a heart even Tomoe cannot compare with. And with this he admired her, and with this he had learned to love her. But then again, the irony of things for everyone must have known the feeling he harbored towards the blue-eyed kendo instructor. Everyone that is — except her. Even though he wanted to tell her those things so long a time ago, he could not bring to himself. For he was afraid of her reaction, a probable rejection. And he didn't want that, for things to be awkward with them, for if that was to happen, then he would've gladly sacrificed his happiness just for things to stay that way.

His thoughts were disturbed by her sudden sneeze and he cursed himself for not having brought an extra umbrella, the storms and the winds have gotten stronger and fiercer and the dojo was more than a mere step away. Unconsciously, she huddled closer to him, trying to search for body heat and he wrapped an arm around her waist, this making her blush. But nevertheless, they continued, in silence, both troubled in their thoughts. Another sneeze caught his attention and he stopped, surprising her. The umbrella provided no shelter from the rain, as both of them was still wet so he removed his gi and draped it gently to her shoulders. At least it would protect her more…

"Kenshin! What are you doing! Are you trying to catch the death of you! Put your gi back on!" she scolded softly.

He secretly hid her smile, somewhat glad to hear her raise her voice once again. That was Kaoru, putting the needs of others before her. Grinning, he shook his head, and although he was shivering he felt warmed inside.

"Kenshin! We are not moving until you put this back on! You're going to get sick!"

Again, he shook his head negatively.

She sighed in frustration, this man was STUBBORN! Finally, she arrived at a compromise.

"Fine, we'll share it."

He was a bit surprised at her decision and he was forced to share it with her, their bodies impossibly close as the gi shielded both of them from the fleeting rain. She was blushing madly and Kenshin was wondering how the people would react if they saw them in such an—err—intimate position. But he was left without a choice, wither take the gi, or make Kaoru sick. Of course he'd choose the first one. He sensed her tension, their position somewhat making her fidget but he kept quiet. Finally, as they walked towards home, she gradually relaxed under his hold, enjoying for a brief moment his touch for both of them knew that it would be after a long time when they could be this close to one another again.

_No it's never ever gonna be the same_

_When we hug for warmth from the cold of the rain_

_And I'm not gonna move on, I'm not gonna change_

_Though I find it hard to say Baby…_

How long had he learned to love her? He asked himself as he steered both of them to the part of the road with more shade and less puddles. Probably ever since she received him in her home… or maybe even still with the first time he had laid his eyes on her fiery determined ones. Her courage and strength stumped him. A woman willing to charge at the Hitokiri Battousai with no more than just a mere wooden toy. She was so determined, so full of life, that Kenshin thought of her as an avenging angel. Yes, she was. He loved her. There was no doubt with that. But his insecurities and fears in life were eating him whole, making him feel terrorized by the thought of her rejection.

At last, they reached the dojo just as the rain was reduced to mere drizzles. Frowning how the gods and fate seemed to have played against them, he had offered her a hot bath even before he could change into a dry yukata and had started to boil tea. Her thankful smile accompanied by her voice filled with gratitude made Kenshin forget the cold he felt running on neither his spine nor the threatening sneezes he always stifled. No, her smile made his day and to his heart's delight, he noticed the secret smile she gave him while entering the bathhouse thinking that it had gone unseen by the man.

_What do I do, I keep calling out your name_

_What do I do, I got no one else to blame_

_What do I do, every time I hold your hand it's not the same_

_What do I do?_

_I think I fell in love with you…_

Kenshin trudged wearily towards the dojo, all the while never letting go of her hand. Two days ago, she had once again been kidnapped. And the reason once again, was to draw out the Battousai within him. Those fucking bastards! Can't they leave him and Kaoru alone? To challenge him was acceptable, but to hurt the woman he loved was well… unforgivable, He had gone from the incident majorly unscathed though Kaoru wasn't in such a good condition. Upon Megumi's diagnosis, she had two broken ribs, a stitch in her knee bruises and a nasty infection to top all that.

He sighed as he assisted her to the futon, adjusting the blankets and watching her become groggy. The medicine Megumi gave her was slowly taking its effect and she was becoming sleepy. Guilt heavy on his chest, he sat on her side, unmindful of his own cuts, worried only for her sake. Thoughts ran wildly in his mind, anger, guilt. Sorrow, love, pain, angst. Many. And many unnamed emotions still. He wondered, was it really because of his past? Or were these events the way of the gods of telling him to stop, leave, leave her alone and live by yourself. He shuddered at the thought could it be really? Was he that selfish not to understand? Not to comprehend that as long as he stays, her life will always hang between the brink of life and death? They were lucky her kidnappers were all a bunch of fools, easy to dispatch. But what if it had been Shishio? Enishi? What then? Could she still survive? Even if she wanted to, she wouldn't, she can't, not with their strength, not wit their force. This plagued his mind. If then he wanted her to be happy, to finally lead a content life, then he must leave. He must willingly leave her and the dojo, behind. For her sake. All the while, what he was doing was wrong, sticking to her side, never leaving her. It was so easy really and the man felt that it was his own selfishness that blinded him from the fact that leaving her would be the only solution to stop these things from befalling her.

Standing up, he paced around the room, trying to clear his mind, to stop the inner turmoil from rampaging his thoughts even more. Silently stepping outside the room, he was surprised to see the silhouette of a spiky-haired man seated beside the door of kaoru's room.

"Sano… I thought you have left?" he asked, glad to have company.

The zanza shook his head. "Nah, too worried about Jou-chan to stay and gamble all night. I think I'll just spend the night here aye Kenshin?"

He nodded.

"Sano…"

"Yep?"

He hesitated, unsure to consult his problem with his friend.

"Sano about Kaoru-dono… I…"

"You love her don't yah?" the man cut in, hewing his fishbone nonchalantly, completely oblivious by the shock of his companion.

"Man Kenshin! You're slow! I mean, it's been three years man and you've still haven't done anything!"

He shook his head and buried his face in his hands desperately." Sano, I can't… I'm afraid…"

Now this one made Sanosuke curious. Afraid? Battousai was never afraid, neither was Kenshin. Who was he scared of?

"I'm afraid Sano, that…maybe; an enemy of mine will come and use her as bait."

"Like what Enishi has done?" he asked.

The swordsman nodded. His face serious and solemn. "Sanosuke, I just can't go around in the dojo, doing things and chores and living my life while Kaoru-dono's life is threatened every day. I just can't…" he murmured weakly.

"So what are you tellin' me?" The younger man asked, realization and anger sparking in his brown eyes.

"I'm leaving Sanosuke…"

Silence.

"Sano… do me a favor…Please... please tell Kaoru, that I love her… I really do… ever since the first time I met her… And I'm leaving because I love her, and I want her to be happy… She has to live a normal life. She yearns for it. And she can never be left in peace while I'm around… Tell her I love her, and I'm setting her free. She can do whatever she wants to, without the shadow of an enemy, go and find a man suitable and worthy enough of her love…"

_Pakisabi na lang na mahal ko siya_

_**(Would you just tell her how much I love her)**_

_Di na bale'ng may mahal siyang iba…_

_**(It's just fine with me if she'd find another)**_

_Pakisabi huwag siyang mag alala_

_**(Please tell her never to worry…)**_

_Di ako umaasa…_

_**(I'm never hoping…)**_

_Alam kong ito'y Malabo,_

_**(I know we will never be…)**_

_Di ko na mababago…_

_**(I can never change that you know…)**_

_Ganoon pa man…_

_**(Just the same,)**_

_Pakisabi na lang…_

_**(Please tell her…)**_

These words struck his companion hard, and his hands balled into fists. Rage ran in a frenzied motion in his blood by the stupidity and idiocracy of the swordsman. _How could he ever think of that!_

"Kenshin how could you say that! How could you tell her that you want her to be happy… to be married to someone else! To live a normal life, without you by her side! How could you ask me to tell her that you love her! Well here's a tip buddy bastard, I aint gonna tell her that. **_YOU _**go an' tell her your feelings!" The man snapped, his voice rising.

"Sanosuke… you and I both know it would never be an easy thing… you know how I feel about Kaoru… I just cant be selfish…I don't want her to die because of me…"

"TEME! You stupid bastard! How could you ever say that! How could you ever tell us you're going away, while at this time, Jou Chan is resting in her room, recuperating from the wounds her kidnapping dealt her because of you!"

Kenshin sighed in frustration. He knew this would never be easy. "That's exactly my point Sano."

"CHIKUSHO! Don't you get it Kenshin! Jou-chan is far too known as _your _woman to ever escape your attackers. By leaving you not only endanger her life but _OURS _as well! You idiot! Didn't you think your stupid enemies would leave her be even after you left! Well, here you go asshole, I better tell ya, you _BETTER THINK AGAIN!_

Now, he had a point, Kenshin reflected. In fact, it drove straight for a home run, touching the base of his heart. He knew Sanosuke was right. Kaoru was far known as his, to be ever left alone. By leaving, he would further endanger her… But... he was confused… He didn't know what to do, would he leave or stay? His mind was whirling to confusion and his heart was having an inner turmoil.

"Sano… Just please tell her that… Onegai… I really must lea—"

"**_GODDAMNIT YOU BASTARD! YOU REALLY DON'T GET IT DON'T YOU! "_** And so fast, Kenshin was unable to react or move, Sanosuke's hard fist connected into his cheek and he was thrown off balance. At once, the man was sprawled on top of him, punching him and trying to knock some stupid sense to his friend.

" KISAMA! YOU STUPID IDIOT! YOU DON'T THINK! YOU…BASTARD! YOU CANT POSSIBLY LEAVE JOU-CHAN ALONE! YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T! YOU KNOW VERY WELL BOTH OF YOU CANT SURVIVE WITHOUT THE OTHER KISAMA! CHIKUSHO!"

"YAMETE SANOSUKE!"

Kenshin was sure; his face would have been blown to bits, had not a familiar voice stopped the younger man from further damaging his bruised face. He was more than surprised to see Kaoru, standing weakly at the door panting in exertion. _How long had she been there?_

"Sanosuke, stop acting so childish and leave Kenshin alone!"

If it would have been any other time, it would have been hilarious seeing a man so big and macho in built obey the sudden voice of a woman twice smaller of his size and watch him scramble to the ground like some sort of schoolboy sent to detention.

She turned to him, and he suddenly felt conscious at her burning gaze. He could tell she had heard what they had been talking about. But he certainly hoped it wasn't all.

"Kenshin…" she murmured weakly.

Her questioning gaze accompanied by the silvery reflection of her tears sent a heavy chained burden in his heart and he suddenly had a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Kenshin… hontou ni?.." she whispered her voice instilled with fear.

"Kaoru-dono… sessha…"

"Kenshin… is it true? Are you leaving?"

"Kaoru… I..."

"Dame! Answer me! Are you going to abandon me again, like what you did when you went to Kyoto! Don't you ever consider what I may really feel! How could you tell me that you love me… then suddenly disappear in the dark of the night? Without saying good-bye? How could you! How could you!"

After she bit out those words, it seemed to have dawned to her that she should not have said those things, so finding a way of escape, she fled, hurriedly, fearing and away from the men who had learned to love her.

To say he was astonished would be an understatement. How could she find the energy to flee, if merely standing took away almost all of her strength? If what she said was true, then, she had heard everything he had told Sanosuke.

"Kaoru matte!"

But before he could catch up with her, a firm grip held his arm and amethyst eyes locked with fiery hazel ones.

"Don't go and follow her if you still intend to leave—idiot. For if you do, you'll give Jou-chan a false hope of actually staying with you for the rest of her fucked up life. But listen—idiot, if you leave her, I wont hesitate to personally stay by her side, love her, marry her, fuck her and have her child, to show you what you should have done ages ago. Oh, you know very well how much I love Kaoru, and I know how much you despise the thought of having another man touch her. So go Battousai and stay forever envious of my family."

At once, he felt a sword pressed sharply under his throat. He looked to find the amethyst orbs gone, and burning amber eyes in its stead. He gulped. _Battousai…_By saying those words, he had drawn out the Hitokiri nature of the assassin. If he had ranted on, god knows he might have his head off. He better not fuel Kenshin's rage anymore… god forgive him for all the things he said…

"Shut up Sanosuke. I swear I may have to _kill_ you even if you are my friend. No one can ever touch Kaoru except me. She is my _woman. _She is _mine."_

He gulped inwardly, but nevertheless pretended not to show how scared he was. "Then go Battousai, tell her how you really think of her. "

He waited for the moment when his head would just roll off the floor but the blow never came. Instead, the man withdrew his sword and started to walk away. But before he could go a bit further, Sanosuke's voice stopped him. The man's voice threatening and unafraid. Kenshin couldn't see his face, for it was covered by the spiky fall of his hair.

"Take care of her Kenshin… Love her cause if you don't… I swear… even if it becomes the death of me…"

"I will Sanosuke. I will."

And finally, the image of the red haired assassin faded away leaving a zanza fighter confused and affected.

KAORU

It was funny how in one moment, her legs felt wobbly and jelly-like and in another, free and on fire. Kaoru didn't know how or what in the name of Buddha did she manage to run as far as the hill she called her refuge. To go up the woods and not be lost in the middle of the night was a serious feat. But now was not the time to think of feats and deeds. For inside, kaoru was screaming, tearing and hurting. She had heard everything… his feelings… his perspectives… what he wanted for her… for them… and she didn't realize or knew… he could give up so easily. She was left confused, torn and ripped. Her emotions, defying her conclusions and as she lay heavily breathing in the grass, she wanted to shout in the heavens above, to question them for giving her such a pain, such a burden. It was just a mere minutes away when she heard something or someone move behind her, rustling the grass and disturbing the weeping petals of flowers of the night.

"_Who's there!"_ She bit out fiercefully forgetting her tears for once.

The figure, as she had identified, didn't reply, instead it walked closer to her, the darkness making her unable to see its face.

"_Who are you!" _she questioned, heart racing. She prayed that it was no enemy, god, she had only came back from one! Taking a step back and desperately finding anything that may prove useful, she gasped when the figure stepped in the moonlight for her to see.

"_Kenshin!"_

He took a step forward. His face covered by the unruly fall of his hair.

"_How did you ever know where to find me! I thought…"_

This time he lifted up his face and she gasped to come face to face with Battousai himself.

"_Battousai! What do you want! There's no enemy in here… where's Kenshin? I…" she stuttered._

'_Did you think I know so little of you Kaoru? Did you not know that I knew this place even before you did?" _

She gasped. How? She thought…

"I know you're very surprised to hear that… to tell you the truth, before I came to downtown Tokyo, I often came up this hill. I slept here, spent my time meditating and reflecting. So you see Kaoru, I know this hill better and longer than you do. And when I followed you, I knew this had also been your place."

She blinked. Battousai's voice was almost… friendly? Where was the brash rude man she had always pictured along with his image in her mind? The man she was faced with seems just like the rurouni she knew. Only, he was a bit less respectful and he didn't refer to himself as 'sessha'…

"Kaoru…"

She took a step back when she heard the tone of his voice. It was as if her thoughts were once again all jumbled up. She knew that everything would be cleared up tonight. He would explain, she would explain. And that would be the end of it.

"Kenshin… please… just leave me be in my thoughts."

He shook his head, "Iie Kaoru. Let's stop this… acting like a bunch of foolish kids…"

She gasped. How could he say that? What was that supposed to mean? That he didn't value what she felt? That she was only a doll?

He must have seen her reaction for he was quick to assure her, no matter how brash he was.

"Kaoru, I'm no less confused than you already are. I really don't know what to do… What do you want me to say? That I love you? That I'm not leaving you? It's not that easy." He said avoiding her gaze.

She felt tears pool at the base of her eyes. How could he speak so brashly? Like he doesn't even care? Of course it wasn't easy. None of it ever will be. She had learned that ever since she met him. But must he really rub it in?

"I know… And I know what you say is impossible Kenshin…' she whispered. Trying desperately to hold back emotions and appear strong, she saw the astonished look spread on his face.

"Impossible? How could you say that Kaoru? Didn't you hear what I said to Sanosuke? I wanted him to tell you, when I leave how I truly felt…"

She shook her head, hair flying and pasting at her cheeks." No Kenshin… you you cant really say that you love me… You can't say that… you don't know…"

"I don't know what?" he demanded. Suddenly realizing he had somewhat missed out something.

"No… Please… don't make me feel this again…" she whispered desperately knowing that telling him about his dream would mean telling him everything she felt. No question. _Everything. _

He neared her suddenly gripping her shoulders and shaking her slightly. " What is it that you hide from me! Has anyone done wrong to you!"

It was weird how she missed the rurouni's gentle concern and how she favored it to the treating Battousai gave her. But instead of answering she just shook her head, refusing to give in.

Battousai was becoming desperate. Something has hurt her. Deeply. And he needed to find out who or what it was. God have mercy on their souls…

She must have sensed his desperation and anger for she put her hands on his shoulders. "No Kenshin… nobody has ever hurt me or dared lay a finger on me. " _No one except you…_ she added in her mind.

"Then what is it Kaoru? What is it that you speak about!"

He was stubborn and relentless and finally, Kaoru found herself surrendering to emotions and breaking down in front of him.

"That night… I… was asleep… when… when I heard you… you were having a nightmare…and you were calling someone's name…"

"Whom was I calling?" he asked, suddenly realizing where the problem with Koru first stemmed.

"Tomoe-san…" she whispered, bowing her head and tears falling miserably.

Tomoe… 

That was why she had been acting strangely, that was why she had seemed so withdrawn these past few days… That was the reason… Come to think of it, he remembered the dream vaguely… Tomoe was walking away fast… and he was desperately trying to follow her, stumbling on the ground. He was struggling to his feet, when he felt someone hold him, embrace him and offer him comfort. It had somewhat quietened his fears though he couldn't see who it was. He could vaguely hear shushed words though he could never make it out. Finally realizing that it was Kaoru who had drawn him out of the abyss of nightmares that night, he wondered if she could have judged his dream entirely wrong.

"Kaoru… you don't understand…" he whispered. Feeling his eyes transform from amber to amethyst. Heart softening.

Though surprised by the sudden transition, it didn't stop her from shouting. "What is there left not understood? I understand it perfectly Kenshin. You still have her…I am reduced to mere nobody in your eyes…" her tears falling tracing paths in her cheeks.

"Kaoru… you should never compare yourself to Tomoe." He murmured trying to convince her.

""_NO!_ It is you who doesn't understand Kenshin… I don't have the right to ask for a man like you when you've had a perfect wife. Tomoe san was perfect, without flaw, beautiful, elegant and she could cook. While me? HAH! Silly ol' me… a sweaty tomboy who cant even boil water…" though she had tried to add humor to her voice, to increase the irony of things with a laugh, it had somewhat ended as a pained choked statement, making him all the more realize the pain it dealt

_These wounds seem not to heal_

_This pain is jut too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.._

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I've held your hand through all of these years_

_And you still have all of me…_

He saw the flash of hurt in her expressive blue eyes even as she avoided his pensive gaze. How he wanted to hold her, touch her and explain to her everything… So that was why she was hurting… it was not pain dealt by any man or enemy… it was pain, dealt by him, Battousai, and he had hurted the person he leas wanted to.

"Kaoru… you don't understand…"

She shook her head, offering him a weak smile as consolation. 'I understand it well Kenshin. I know, that deep in your heart. You still love Tomoe-san. Even in your dreams… she haunts you… I will never have a place in your heart for she would always be in there… She will never be forgotten…"

He bowed his head, hiding his face in the shadows. "I still love Tomoe. And she will always have a place in my heart. No one can change that fact."

She gasped. Tears flowing while finally sliding down to the floor in desperation and pain. Hiding her face, she whispered. "I knew… that ever since the beginning… it would hurt me… if I loved you… but I didn't expect the pain of loving you would be this much…"

And she collapsed, sobbing and burying her face in the palms of her hand. For a while no one spoke… her sobs only ringing in the woods. He was shocked to hear her words. So painful, so stinging and filled with so much self-hatred. _Oh Kaoru… must you suffer this way?_

She felt hands drape gently at her shoulders and she tried to jerk him off. When he faced her and grasped her firmly but gently, she struggled, wanting to get away from his touch, trying to put distance when he embraced her frail form.

"Kenshin… Leave me alone! Leave me! Kenshin!"

But the man was strong and her struggles were half hearted. Finally, she collapsed in his embrace, sobbing as she buried her face on his shoulders. All the while he kept whispering soothing words of comfort and love but Kaoru knew he was only murmuring those statements as to pacify her… those words bore no sense of truth…

When she calmed, she felt him shift so that he could see her face and she felt uneasy. Now, with her face in a mess, what more could he ever think of her. Tomoe must never have cried in front of a man and she never looked so dirty and pitiful. Bowing her head in humiliation, she refused to speak, fearing that her voice may come off as garbled.

"Kaoru… you never let me finish…" he berated softly. " I said… Tomoe would always have a space in my heart and I still love her… But I only feel respect and guilt towards her. Do you want that kind of love Kaoru? Harbored by guilt and the stench of blood? No, you don't deserve that. Tomoe is always with me… in a sense… demo… I can feel more… I have learned to love more… far deeper than what both Tomoe and I had shared. "

By now, her tears were forgotten and her eyes were wide with awe and … hope? She felt nervous and tensed. _What was he implying?_

"What I'm saying Kaoru.. is ever since I've met you in the busy streets of Tokyo in the nineteenth of April, three summers ago, I have fallen in love with you… no matter how selfish it may seem…" he whispered, nearing his face with hers.

Euphoria was quick to burst in her chest as she realized right there and then what he wanted to tell her. That he loved her as much as she did to him… That all along… it was miscommunication and fear that held both their emotions in check. Her eyed shone with happiness and the man was relieved that things had finally been cleared out between them. That starting from now, there would be no more need for pretension or impassiveness. No, from now on, they could freely express their feelings with no fear of rejection…

It was funny how Kaoru felt when she felt his lips descend gently on hers. Megumi and tae had once said it was nerve-wracking and sometimes uncomfortable… but never did she feel those emotions… It was so natural… like they had been doing it for the longest time and as he taught her lips and tongue how to kiss, Kaoru realized how much love and ardor her heart was consumed by this man. She was ready to give anything, willing to throw her life, as carelessly as he sometimes did at his feet only for him. To serve, love and yes even protect him.

When they broke off from the kiss, she had to close her eyes as she felt so overcome with emotions running in her heart. How surreal the moment felt! She never felt so right when he held her close and as they lay on the grass, she huddled close to him, embracing him and tucking her face at the crook of his neck.

"Kenshin…"

"Hmm?"

"Are you still leaving?" Though after the kiss they had shared, she didn't hesitate to hide the worry and anxiousness in her voice.

"Kaoru… how could I leave if my heart is bound with yours? Both you and I know I cannot leave now... I cant... I don't want to…"

And with that she released a contented sigh. Finally… the gods have given her the very gift she had only asked for all her life… A man who was willing to love her… willing to protect her and stay by her side always… A man she could love… _Kenshin…_

_Maybe there'll be no falling star this time around…_

_I still believe that…_

_Honesty is all we'd ever need…_

_You and me again…_

_Maybe…_

K

N

K

They walked hand in hand towards the river where Kenshin had suggested for a picnic. Yahiko was there, Sanosuke was there and yes, even Megumi, agreed to come no matter how envious she had been by the sudden closeness of the couple. They settled under the weeping sakura blossoms, everyone chatting happily. Once food was served, Yahiko and Sanosuke's food fights started again and Ayame and Suzume started to spark a mind your own manners war. Kaoru laughed enjoying the moment and Kenshin smiled; glad to see how happy she was. Inching closer to her, he offered her a mochi, smiling slightly when she took it and held her hand tight with his. No one seemed to have noticed that is except Sanosuke and Kenshin saw the fleeting jealousy in his eyes. It made Kenshin all the more thankful that he had finally confessed his feelings to Kaoru before everything became too late. Kaoru saw the flicker of emotions in his eyes and preceded to ask him hat was wrong he shook his head and grinned slightly when a cute pout blossomed in his lips.

"Mou Kenshin! No fair!" And with that, she scrambled up to her feet quickly pulled up his hair tie and ran away from him as fast as she could manage, laughing all the while and not minding even as everyone gazed on both of them. Kenshin, seeing her fleeing form ran to catch her, and although they were a good distance away from everyone, he had managed to catch her and trap her laughing form in his arms.

"MOU Kenshin!" she pouted though a smile held its place.

"Why now koi?" he asked teasing her.

When she had nothing else to say, she just smiled and pulled his face closer to his for both of the to settle in a deep languorous kiss. It was so powerful and so overwhelming that even after having shared so many kisses, it always left Kaoru panting and yearning for more. After breaking off the kiss, they decided to go back to the others, Secret laughter and smiles only saved for the both of them.

_Nais Kong sabihin sa iyo,_

_**(I just want to tell you)**_

_Mahal kita hindi kita iiwan…_

_**(That I love you and I'll never leave you)**_

Kenshin fidgeted at his seat while he tried to divert his nervousness into something else, it was the day of his wedding and he was waiting for his bride at the temple. Recalling the memory, he smiled as he remembered how he proposed to Kaoru.

_It had been four months since both of them became aware of each other's feelings and just about after dinner that night; they decided to take a moonlit stroll and ended up it the secluded hill that they now call their 'spot'. After having a few kisses, both of them lay snuggled with each other in the grass under the starlit canopy when he suddenly talked about marriage and family. She was slightly surprised but nevertheless answered his questions and said that she would really want to settle down and have a family. Imagine to her surprise, it was right there and then when the swordsman got up, rose on one knee and knelt before a sitting wide-eyed Kaoru. It was there in that position when he fished something in his ninotachi. It was a velvet box, and inside was a simple beautiful ring with twin sapphire and amethyst gems resting beside one another. Kaoru would have dropped it had his hands not covered hers as he expressed his desire to marry her. Her cries of happiness and consent still echoed in the woods even as they kissed and lay comfortably and contented in each one's arms. _

Now, as he gazed before his bride, Kenshin could not help but feel thankful to the gods for having given him this wonderful woman in his life. He couldn't promise that he would never hurt her for the rest of existence but he could vow that e would love her soul till the last of his breath.

The ceremony started, with Kaoru looking so ethereal in a white pearl studded kimono walking down the aisle with Hiko and Tae acting as godparents. Yes even Hiko Seijurou was there. Even Saitou and Tokio were invited and of course the whole of Aoiya. Kenshin had never seen Kaoru so happy before, while she gazed at the loving faces who wished her luck. Her hair wasn't tied up, instead it served to frame her angelic face and Kenshin wished for no more else other than to ravage his wife right there and then. Megumi and Sanosuke acted as the ones who would offer the sake cup and as each of them had several sips of wine, he couldn't help but feel euphoric as the priest officially marked them as husband and wife in the eyes of Buddha and bade him to kiss the bride.

After many hours of partying and merry-making, the ado in the Kamiya-dojo had finally died down. After the guests had one by one exited, after the tables had been cleared, after the dishes had been washed and the house returned to normal order, Kaoru sat sated and tiredly at the porch, contemplating the past unbelievable two weeks of her life. Everyone had been busy, from the preparations to the gown, from the food to the flowers, from the set up to the cleaning. Yes, everyone had been totally busy that she and Kenshin barely had time for each other. She was glad that they were finally married, but she was even gladder to have things finally settle down in a quiet sedate pace.

"Kaoru…"

She whipped he face to see him standing in front of her and settling at the space beside.

"What are you thinking?" he suggested.

She smiled. "Nothing… only about the wedding and our lives…"

He returned the smile as he shifted to wrap his arms comfortably at her waist." Hmm… you must be in deep thinking then…"

She laughed. " Maybe."

For a while, no one spoke, only enjoyed each other's presence. Kaoru let her head fall at his shoulders while she relished the touch he gave her cheek.

"Kenshin…"

"Hmm?"

"Aishiterru…"

"Mou ai Koi," he murmured.

"I wont ever leave you."

" I wont ever leave you too."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Yakosuko yo?" she asked, bringing her pinky finger up.

"Yakosuko yo." He replied, entwining his pinky finger with hers.

_Nais kong yakapin kang mahigpit_

_**(I just want to hold you tight…)**_

_Kailan ma'y hindi kita pababayaan…_

_**(I'll never ever let you go…)**_

_Mahal ko…_

_(**You're the one I'll love)**_

_Mahal ko…_

_**(You're the one I'll love)**_

_Nais ko…_

AFTER SEVERAL MONTHS

Kenshin found himself excitedly walking back to the Kamiya dojo a precious bundle clutched in his hand. He entered the house, almost forgetting to close the gate and ran straight to his wife who was busy sewing clothes.

"Kaoru! Kaoru! Look at what I bought!"

She appeared to be surprised by his excitement but allowed him nevertheless to navigate her hands towards the brown lumpy parcel in his hands.

"_Baby clothes! But Kenshin... we still don't know yet…" _she whispered in disbelief.

"Never mind. At least we're ready ne?" he said happily while pressing his sword hand in her rounded belly. Kaoru was several months pregnant and the sheer joy and happiness written on her husband's face had never faded even after the months of her pregnancy progressed. To say that he was a wonderful husband would be a complete understatement. He was a considerate spouse, passionate lover, and yes, even without the baby out, Kaoru could tell he would be a wonderful father of their child.

"What shall we call our child?" she asked him, somewhat infected by his gaily mood.

"Kenji if it's a boy, Kiriko if it's a girl, beautiful like you."

She was astonished that he was so ready he even had names. Was he _that _excited? Maybe. Over the months, he had hovered over her, like a hawk, monitoring her food, accompanying her anywhere—everywhere… this touched and irritated her but she continued to appreciate his efforts even still.

"And we'll buy this, and give her a toy and we'll take him or her to the carnival, and I'll give her a pet, we could teach them, enroll them in Kagami-san' classes, teach him Kenjutsu Kamiya kasshin ryuu.."

"Matte anata! Wait…" she said giggling, "You're so excited and the baby hasn't even gone out yet!" she smiled, knowing the happiness of her husband.

He grinned sheepishly while rubbing his head. "Gomenasai Koi… I'm just so happy to finally become a father… I never thought… "He said, his voice sobering. "

"Nonsense. Everyone deserves the right to be happy. " She said lovingly while pressing his hand firmly against her unborn child.

He nodded in affirmation "And you have taught me that kaoru." Pressing his ear in her rounded belly he spoke to his child like any father would.

"Ohayou Musume! Ogenki desu ka? Otou-san to Oka-san degozaru! Aishiterru koneko!"

She smiled and hugged him. Total happiness and peace flowing in her heart. How she loved her husband and child and she would give anything for them. And she knew deep in her heart, though Battousai made no appearance, in Kenshin's heart the assassin had paternal love given for his child and the Hitokiri inside him would be ready to kill anyone who wishes to harm his unborn child.

K

N

K

It was just after the first rays of sunlight peeked through the rice paddies in Tokyo when a wailing sound resounded in the Kamiya dojo. At once, Kenshin was at his feet and running towards his room with kaoru where she went into labor the afternoon yesterday. Bursting in the room followed by Yahiko, something inside him bursted when he saw his wife lying wearily on the futon blood everywhere and Megumi handling her wailing child.

"Omedetou Kaoru-san…"

Not being able to contain his excitement Kenshin blurted out " Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Ken-san… it's a boy Ken-san…" the doctor said while ushering him to approach his wife.

He did so without reserve and he was utterly astonished when he saw that the child had red flaming hair and sapphire eyes that matched exactly his mother's.

"Kenji…" he murmured. His voice thickened with bubbling emotions. Seeing his wife with his child brought different feelings inside his heart. Suddenly he felt his eyes moisten and he was surprised. Tears? How long had he since last cried? It was so long… and now there were tears in his eyes just seeing his wife bring forth a life, his son their child…

"Kenshin…" Kaoru whispered tiredly as she tried to move to hold her bundle. He sat next to her, lifting her head to rest on his lap as he carried the infant carefully for her arms to cradle. He was so afraid… so unnatural, it was his first time to carry a child… he looked so vulnerable, so nimble that Kenshin vowed to protect his son till the last of his days.

Kaoru understood the man's hesitation and nervousness… after all, Battousai never even expected to be married twice, and having a child was so unexpected. Holding his hands and squeezing it for comfort, she let him hold the baby while it nursed on her breast and allowed herself to catch some sleep.

AFTER FOUR YEARS

Kaoru lovingly watched the two most precious men in her life playing a game of tag. The four years they had with Kenji was nothing but pure and complete bliss and happiness. Peace had settled in their lives and Kaoru wished for nothing more.

After a few more minutes of chasing, father and son settled on the porch both panting and laughing. Identical looks, she smiled as amethyst and blue eyes gazed up on her asking for a few mochis. Over the years, Kaoru had learned to cook. It was not cuisine called for, but she had improved a lot better and the food she prepared was edible and delicious.

Kenshin gazed at his wife, admiring how beautiful she looked even after the last four years of their marriage. Ever since the very beginning, he had vowed to love and protect this woman and now, with Kenji to add in his inspiration, Kenshin realized that no matter how dark your past was, it would never do to just sit down and wait for your life to expire. No. You have to do something. Find life, do atonement, and look for redemption. That was what he did. And he found the redemption he had been looking for. It was here in this simple dojo, beside his loving wife and obedient son. Yes, finally Kenshin Himura found the path in life he had really wanted to follow ever since the very beginning.

_You were just a dream that I once knew.._

_Never thought I would be right for you…_

_I just can't compare you with anything in this world_

_As endless as forever_

_Our love will stay together_

_You were all I need_

_To be with Forevermore…_

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

FINALLY! I'm finished! This was so long! Gomenasai minna! I didn't intend this fic to be _this _long! I hope it didn't bore you too much! Anyways… if you're a bit curious as to what songs I used in this medley songfic, here yah go folks:

FRIEND OF MINE sung by Miss Leah Salonga… Mabuhay ang mga Pilipino!

EVERYWHERE of course this is by the great and beautiful Michelle Branch… EEEYYYAHHH michelllleeeeeeee I WABSYUU **faints**

**_JEALOUS_** performed by no other than the soul siren NINA

**_A GIRL CAN DREAM_** Once again by the sexy seductress NINA

**_WHAT DO I DO_** By of course my husband Mr. NYOY Volante… yeah dream on gurl…just joking… the man will never be mine SOB

PAKISABI NA LANG wonderful song by Miss Aiza Seguerra

MY IMMORTAL the never-ending song by Amy Lee…

**MAYBE** Performed by Sheryn Regis

**_NAIS KO_** by Side A I LUV THIS SONG! IT RAWKS!

**_FOREVERMOR_**E by SIDE A….

There you have it folks! Hope yah enjoyed it. This fic is dedicated nga pala to all KnK lovers like me especially para sa mga Pinoy na todo kung magmahal! I wabsyu!

Ja ne,

Blueroseulan J c:


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